THE WAR WITHIN ME
by Christelle Aucamp
Peace where are you? I long for you! I need harmony. I need freedom from fear. I hunger for rest. My soul is at war. My thoughts are filled with conflict. Why can’t I make peace with myself and allow my soul to get some rest?
How many of us are at war with ourselves? Filled with regret, guilt, anger, and distrust? How many opportunities have gone by because we did not feel worthy? How long can a person live with a continuing battle inside oneself? How long can anxiety be our fuel for survival?
Peace is a state of calmness, restfulness, silence, tranquility, and order. Are you well rested, calm in difficult situations, and have your life in order? If you do, I envy you.
I have made so many mistakes in my life, that I cannot look at the person staring back at me. I do not recognise myself, who am I? Where is the person full of hope and dreams? Where is the excitement of tomorrow?
Some say to us that we need GOALS, but what are my goals? What do I want? What do I need? Again, who am I?
I am not my actions! I might have made mistakes, but I am not my mistakes. I did wrong because I acted like a stubborn fool, but I am not a fool. However, I cannot help to define myself according to my past actions.
How can I reset and start over again? How can I improve? How can I heal? How can I have peace? The answer is simple but not easy. I cannot reset, but I can change and start living a “new” and in-proof life. I can heal. I can experience peace! It however does not start with me. It starts with the way I treat the people around me.
As soon as I move my attention away from myself and start caring about others, I become less self-focused. I become humble. When I apply calmness when talking to another person, I teach myself to speak calmly to myself. When I realise that people make mistakes, and do not judge them, I realise that none are perfect. Assisting, listening, helping, and practicing patience toward others takes away my self-pity and self-doubt. It frees my mind from thinking only about myself and opens space. Space open rooms. Room for improvement, room for forgiveness, rooms for acceptance, room for calmness and rest. Room for peace.
I cannot fight a war if there isn’t an enemy to fight. I can only eliminate my enemy when I replace it with a friend. I need to care for others so that I can start caring for myself. F.Y.I self-pity and selfishness are the same thing.
Please comment if you agree or disagree. If there is someone who has gained peace within, feel free to share your journey and tips. Any questions or suggestions on this topic will be appreciated.
For a deeper and private discussion on peace within yourself, you can book an appointment with me at christelleaucamp81@gmail.com.
Looking forward to hearing from you
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